someone, somwhere, perhaps here or not, is counting on you to rise, to continue, “despite it all…” and though they may leave you and never return, and though they may, it is up to you not them to continue for the need of the alleged. “When people say people are counting on you,” it means people are counting on you, somewhere, at least someone is, at least one, somewhere…allegedly. And when they say they care, and when they say, though if you do not hear it, though you may not be there, someone somewhere was and heard it, if not another than the sayer them-self, heard it through their voice or their head or maybe in the mirror out in front: not so much a “hello friend,” but a like, “i believe. you inspire me.” kind of thing, very powerful with periods and sharp ends with silence to follow and long stares absent of facial gesture in between. It’s so easy, if only they knew how to motivate.
Leonard. ‘No, no no no.” Leonard said, eyes downcast & chin pointing down, eyelashes down. The projection of his head said “on the verge of paradigm shift”–not that Leonard was open to change, like as if to say his hands were empty, because they weren’t– they were full. So full Leonard here was seen on the verge of too much. & the collapse. Leonard doesn’t collapse. It’s the things that do. Are dropped or caused to be gone. No no Leonard just changes. From full to empty, hands for the next thing: the next medium, the next influence, the next friend, the next lover, the next work of art, the next thing. And when we watch him close off with his eyes & chin, arms & crossed shins, and those words No, no no no we remember what is coming for him and we say something like, “Yes, oh yes oh yes,” because as the creator of Leonard we know there is a plan for him. & for his journey, as told by us. Neither he nor I know it. We could not predict it. Neither he nor I. It just is. The natural way of it always makes sense though, this we both know. At some point it will make sense. There are no exceptions. We cannot expect quick turnaround. I mean, we can, but then believing in a masterplan would be foolish. We are not foolish. There is no reason to expect quick turn. Expecting it to turn quickly around is the kind of thing Leonard doesn’t do– because it is a deprivation of faith in the great plan. So you see, in knowing of the great plan we in a sense rise beyond our timed limitations: we focus & do our best with the best intentions of doing our best, & we trust that every single thing happening, or happens to Leonard, or to myself, to the deer a hundred yards away, to the decomposing lizard in the backyard, to the struggling family, to the prospering, and wind, and sound, & so much more is the great plan processing. We are in the process of it’s great plan. If you & I die one day unexpectedly, or expectedly depending, we will have either known or not known trust in the process. That maybe the time is coming soon or it is coming late–the time in which our voices are heard globally, perhaps irrefutably, universally. Goodmight Leonard, “Goodmight,”